A Woman of Substance and Prayer

Just got this from someone today and thought it makes a great read.

*THE WARRIOR WIFE*

The warrior wife knows marriage is difficult, particularly if you don't put the time & effort into building a strong foundation. It gets easier with time, but during the process of growing into mature, selfless spouses, marriage requires a will to fight for the union. Marriage is not for the weak-minded or soft-hearted. Marriage is for warriors. To be a Warrior-wife you must be willing to go to war for your marriage.

This doesn’t mean you are paranoid about something going wrong. What it means is that you take proactive steps to strengthen the marriage bond & protect your family from negative influences. So, if & when trouble comes, your marriage will withstand hard times.

Here are 10 ways I believe wives can be warriors for their marriages & families.

*1. A PRAYER WARRIOR :* a wife who knows the power of prayer. She intercedes for her husband & children. She doesn't wait for hard times to pray; she prays in good times & in bad times. When her husband needs prayer, he asks his wife because he knows she has a deep relationship with God. Her prayers soothe and comfort her family. They rebuke evil and cast out negativity. They declare goodness & favor in their lives. Not only does she pray, but she also believes what she prays.

*2. A WORSHIP WARRIOR:* a wife who is not afraid to praise & worship God. She knows where her help comes from, & she expresses her gratefulness wherever & whenever the Spirit moves her. "Thank you, Lord," is her praise song.

*3. A WORD WARRIOR :* a wife who uses her words to speak life & wisdom to her husband & children. She knows how to encourage herself & her family in the Lord. Her words heal, comfort & correct with love. On the other hand, she doesn't hesitate to speak in defense of her family when others try to harm them. She knows her tongue is a mighty weapon, so she uses it wisely.

*4. A MOTHER WARRIOR :* A wife who doesn't play when it comes to her children. She teaches them about God, about respect for themselves & about the importance of family. A mother-warrior believes her role as a mother is a divine responsibility & that God will hold her accountable for how she rears her children. As such, she does whatever it takes to make sure her children feel safe & loved; are fed & clothed; & are educated properly

*5. A FINANCIAL WARRIOR :* a wife who can take a few francs & make a meal that tastes like a million bucks. She doesn't complain about what the family doesn't have; instead, she knows how to make do with what they do have. She plans for rainy days & helps her husband provide for the family.

*6. A DISCERNMENT WARRIOR :* a wife with a sixth sense to see & feel what’s good & what's bad for the marriage. Because she prays regularly & hears from God, she can sense when someone has malicious intentions towards her family or when someone is a genuine friend.

*7. A HOUSEHOLD WARRIOR :* a wife who protects the peace & sanctity of the home. She doesn't allow negativity to infiltrate the home environment because she knows the home should be the safest place in the world for her family.

*8. A SEXUAL WARRIOR :* a wife who isn't afraid to enjoy physical intimacy with her husband. She initiates sex & enjoys pleasing her husband. When the love life goes lacking or gets monotonous, she steps up to re-energize things.

*9. A CONFIDENCE WARRIOR :* a wife who makes her man feel like he can do anything he sets his mind to. She is a constant encourager who believes in her husband even when he doesn't believe in himself.

*10. A PURPOSE DRIVEN WARRIOR :* a wife who knows that God has a purpose for her marriage. She's willing to fight for it when others say she should give up. She partners with her husband to achieve their marriage & family goals. Her motto is "Let's do this!"

I want to encourage you to embrace the warrior inside of you. As wives & future-wives, we don't have to accept whatever life throws at us. God made us in His image, which means we have the power to create the marriages & lives we deserve and desire. Every woman has a warrior spirit on the inside of her. That's why "a man who finds a good wife finds great treasure" *& should not provoke his wife to anger! Men, control your anger tantrums & live with her with great love, knowledge & understanding that your prayers be not hindered!*1Peter 3

Tackling the giants - understanding the work of agents and angels in your marriage

Ever wondered why the minute you decide to get married to someone something changes in the atmosphere? Why conflicts and strife starts becoming more frequent and family members start quarreling over the issue of the where, when and hows of the wedding? Even before you say I do, you release angels and agents working for or against your impending nuptials and subsequent marriage. Let me define these for you. I call the helpers of you upcoming nuptials angels and those that work to cause hindrances and eventual breakup of your relationship as agents.

No one is exempted from both. You as an individual have the ability to subdue and control which of them you work with and which you show the door.  

The work of  the angels are to prepare you mentally, physically, emotionally psychologically and spiritually  for the biggest decision you will ever make in your life. Sometimes you may mistake the work of angels for the work of agents because it may be unpleasant and feels painful but rest assured the difference between the work of angels and agents is the outcome or the fruit. What is the final outcome of what you went through? Did it make you stronger, wiser, humbler, more generous, kinder and have stronger self control? Then the angel was behind the pain. Did it make you suspicious, envious, hurtful, full of bitterness, strife anger, and dejected and depressed?; Then  it is the work of the agents.

Agents work to destroy you and your relationship using very familiar things. They use suggestions, so called wisdom, traditions, status quo, popular opinion, comparisons, covetousness, ambition, pride  fear and greed to keep you single and unfulfilled in the area of marriage. You see, from the day you say I do, both agents and angels are assigned to you. If you are a person of prayer and you are submitted to the spirit of God , you may be able to see the bigger picture through every challenge you face towards your wedding day. If you are still selfish the angels will work on opening your eyes to your state and warn you about how such will hinder your happiness in the future, but the agents will feed you with so many good reasons why you should not budge. This is why pre-nuptials exist now. Don't get me wrong. I understand the reasoning behind this and have seen so many examples of why it looks necessary but I believe a pre- nuptial agreement is a perfect example of how you work with agents to destroy your marriage. It is a contract(unknowingly to you) with the agents to device all manner of problems during the marriage to prove you right and divorce becomes inevitable. 

There are different types of angels and agents assigned to you based on whether you are planning a wedding or entering into marriage. On the day of your wedding the old angels and agents finish their assignments and the keepers or covenants and breakers of covenants are activated. You are assigned from God your heavenly Father angels whose jobs are to help you keep, flourish and enjoy your marriage so that the triple blessings are fulfilled. These are  fruitfulness, multiplication and domination. There are also agents of wickedness assigned by the prince of darkness to ensure you never get to be fruitful, multiply or dominate. 

This is the reason why the day after your marriage seems a little strange. Aside from the anti climatic feeling, you are now walking with giants. You work with a host of invisible beings waiting on you to give them the right to uplift or destroy your marriage. So which have you been controlling and which has been controlling you. 

Your words and actions activate the angels or agents. Agents are what I call familiar spirits because they operate in the familiar things that look natural but have diabolical consequences. They influence you in the following areas-; your mind; in how and what you think of your spouse, they show you all their weaknesses and mistakes they magnify their faults and help you develop disrespect for your spouse. They will use all the popular opinion as arguments for why you have the right to think and feel this way and when you unknowingly agree by your response to it, you open the door to strife and bitterness in your marriage. When this happens, out goes the  angels of joy, laughter and happiness.If you are married, you understand this. The minute you agree with the imaginations of your mind you loose your peace of mind and start going into a dark place and you can hardly get yourself out of it without a big fight of prayers to rescue you from the pit you have so dug for your self.. 

These agents are not your friends. They don't give you these arguments because they love you. They do not love you and they do not love your spouse.Nobody wins but them when you choose to listen and believe the pack of lies they throw at you. Let me make it very clear. No one goes though marriage without having these arguments thrown their way.Whether a third party is the instrument or a movie, a book or just voices in your head some thing somewhere will belittle your spouse in your presence and you have the responsibility of shutting it or them up pronto or you open the floodgates to more and more of the like. You can get overwhelmed and instead of ruling your mind and environment, they are the ones doing the domination. 

Finances, in laws, work colleagues, church folks, and so called well wishers and even your children can be instruments used by agents to divide and conquer your marriage until you come to the conclusion that you made a mistake and you are not compatible and site irreconcilable differences. All this is in your head.

On the other hand the angels work tirelessly to fulfill the word that says "you will hear a voice in your ear saying this is the way work in it". They work with your conscience and will help you overcome the lies of agents and encourage you to see the big picture of why you got married in the first place. They will help create circumstances or points of growth as a couple and help you tackle difficult challenges. When angels are involved the end result is always a deeper knowledge, trust and respect for your spouse and a greater sense of inner peace in your heart. 

Know that whatever makes you hate and despise your spouse is not from God. It does not do you any good. It steals you peace and will steal your joy eventually. Sometimes situations present themselves to make you two grow stronger and deeper as a couple. I call these challenges and trials opportunities for growth. When you overcome these challenges you get to experience another side of your spouse that you may have never seen if that trial did not come your way. You get to love and respect them deeper and you become more and more assured that you are meant for each other. During the trial, the agents will show you thousands of reasons why you should quit but depending on how strong your conscience has been developed you can tell the difference between what will kill you and what will heal you. It will be down to the choices you make whether you get to the other side of the trial and begin to enjoy the rewards of an overcomer. 

Many people struggle with making these choices in their marriages. I have written this just to let you know that God did not leave you alone to work out your marriage. He have given you covenant helpers. Use them and submit to their  leadership  and you will benefit greatly. Likewise the agents of destruction were also released to make your marriage a hellish prison. Reject, renounce and cast them out of your mind and home and you will have dominion over all things. 

Like they say, the ball is in your court. How will you play it?

The Good Wife

By Pastor Folake Henshaw.

I WASN'T SUCH A GOOD WIFE AFTER ALL😥.......
My Story!

I have always thought of myself as a pretty good wife. I mean I kept a clean house, made nice healthy meals, I kept everyone warm with appropriate clothes and beddings, I took care of the sick (read Florence Nightingale without the hat) I mean I was a wonderful woman Proberbs: 31 woman!!! However a few days ago as I was praying, i began to pray for my marriage and I was going to gloss over it because I thought hey I have a great marriage 💏👌!!!  However the Holy Spirit led me not to pray for my husband but to repent for areas where I was falling short as a wife!!! You should have seen my face, I was like say what? 😯!!!! 

But as I began to allow God to deal with my heart, I began to see what God was talking about. I wept and wept with such sorrow as I began to repent for not being fully submitted to my husband as the Lord would want me to. I began to see how I see my husband through the world’s eyes and not through the eyes of God. I repented for times when I wasn’t patient with him or I didn’t truly support him like the Lord would have me support him. I repented for secretly holding resentment and offenses against him. Things I wasn’t even aware I was doing. I began to see what a horrible wife I was😒.

Here is the interesting thing folks, my husband thought I was an AWESOME WIFE, but God tells me NO you are not AN AWESOME WIFE. According to his standards (GOD) I was falling short. I was lacking in patience, I was lacking understanding, I was lacking in forbearance. Friends as I lay on the floor crying to God to change my heart and help me be a better wife to this amazing man he gave me, I began to understand that being a wife IS A HIGH CALLING. I began to see myself for who I really was not WHO I THOUGHT I WAS. Forget how the world defines being a wife as looking hot, dropping it like it’s hot and remaining as age defying as you can possibly be💁. I began seeing that being a wife is no joke! The only two people called HELPERS in the bible are A WIFE AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. And what does the Holy Spirit do? He comforts, he teaches, he guides, convicts and instructs with such gentleness etc. I began to understand that I am only a good wife by Gods standard not by anyone’s not even my husbands. I began to appreciate that I can never be a great wife in my own strength. I have to lean on the Holy Spirit to help me be a GODLY WIFE. Friends everyone can be a wife but not everyone one is a godly wife.  

I began to see how I was lacking in wisdom, in grace, in humility ohhh my goodness! I was so off the mark yet everyone around me thought I was a AMAZING including me. Being a wife is a high calling ladies, so the next time you are praying for your marriage, stop and pray for yourself, ask God to show you areas where you are falling short according to HIS standards. Are you truly walking in humility? Or are you quietly resentful and angry about one thing or another, are you envious or jealous of other people's husbands,are you secretly comparing your husband with other men, are you insecure and scared? Where do you get your standards from, Society, Culture, Religion or God himself?  

Granted all marriages go through challenges including mine but when the trumpet sounds and you and I stand before the FATHER we will all account for our roles as WIVES?  So the next time you see those shiny rings💍 on anyone’s fourth finger, next time one of your girlfriends gets engaged be reminded that rings are not just cute, they are a SYMBOL, A SYMBOL OF A VERY HIGH CALLING! THAT OF BEING A WIFE, A GODLY WIFE! 

Dear Lord,
Create in me a clean heart towards my husband,   remove all areas of pride, resentment, anger and unforgiveness. Deal with frustration, disappointments and regret. Lord heal any past, present and future hurt and help me be the wife you want me to be. Search me Ohh Lord and know my heart, and make my life pleasing to you in public and in private In JESUS NAME. Amen and Amen🙌.

Love and all the 'other' stuff

By: Peter Unachukwu

I heard of a preacher who once said that the reason he was divorcing his wife was because he does not Love her.

I really really struggled with this when I first heard it a number of years ago - especially having it come from a preacher. 

Like most people my immediate response to the statement was. "Okay you don't Love your wife. But why can't you (as a preacher) believe God to give you Love for her".

As I said I really struggled with it. But later I understood what the real issue was.

I don't think anyone who truly believes in God - a believing Christian or a preacher does not believe that God cannot give them a Love for their wife or their husband. You see, it is not Love that is the issue but the other stuff.

What other Stuff?
I believe deep inside when one is in a place of conflict or in a strained or broken relationship; asking God for more Love actually means asking for more accountability; more opening oneself to be hurt again; to be disappointed again; more submission; more patience; more compromise; more giving of one's heart; more giving of one's time; more vulnerability;  more forgiveness; and more acceptance of one's spouse in-spite of their many faults and weaknesses.

We all know how we feel when we are deeply hurt by someone we love. At that particular time we want to run a mile away from them. At that time there is nothing they can do or say that will change the situation. There is such a pain and hurt in our heart. Sadly, even though it is so painful yet sometimes we don't even want it immediately removed not to talk less of being consoled or comforted (I think women can related this better than men).

So much so at that time even if the Angel Gabriel or Michael paid us a visit from heaven and offered to pacify us - some of us will probably say no to them and send them on their way.

During conflict, believing God for more Love is easy but believing God for the other stuff is pretty hard - no matter who you are.

Today, My wife and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary. And the one thing I am truly most grateful for is that I still have the desire to ask God to give me more Love for my wife. I believe this is a grace most couples take for granted. And it is something worth celebrating and being thankful for.

As we know as long as we have the desire to ask for more Love, we know there is always a chance it will be given to us.

And I also know there are those who are going through big strain or conflict in their relationship and find it really difficult  - to ask God for more Love for their wife or husband - because of all the thoughts it conveys and all the other stuff involved.

I leave us this verse from the bible from Roman 5:5 - "And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his Love."

I believe the Love God gives us is able to fill our hearts so much that our Love as couples is able to stand the test of time and help us overcome every single challenge and difficulty in our relationships.

Please don't be afraid to ask God for more Love for your wife or your husband. 

God is faithful. He will not only answer your request and give you more Love but He will also help you and give you the grace to deal with all the other stuff as well.

God bless.

The Covenant

'Till death do us part' seems a pretty scary promise to make. Some don't even bother with all that anymore. They think it more romantic to write their own vows which usually ends up as a little tribute to their soon to be spouse, with not much in terms of the till death do us part time frame in it. 

I was invited to a couples' meeting the other day to pitch a couples course which my husband and I run under the 2=1 organisation. The leader of the course then proceeded to ask me a very important question. 

"What is th purpose of marraige?" he asked. Well I was not prepared for the hot seat of questions that followed my answer but I replied " the purpose of marraige is to fulfil purpose" I know right? Sounds like totology. I have always been told to never use the words from a question as answer to the question. Here I clearly have. The purpose is purpose not love I replied. 

I did not qualify my statement and observed a few raised eyebrows. We went on to have quite an animated discussion on other topics. 

However,  this one question kept ringing in my mind. I always like to leave a place knowing people have fully understood my point of view but I felt unsettled because there was no time to qualify my fleeting answer.  I have always intended to write on the topic of covenant so now I have this opportunity to qualify my answer  here on this blog.

Interestingly the host for the day commented that he was not fully convinced by my reply as he thought that the purpose of marraige was to love your spouse and children. 

It got me thinking you know. I knew it was for fulfilling purpose and I knew that the mistake of thinking that marraige is just about loving your spouse and family is often made. 

You see the fundamental law of the universe is Love. Love for God and love for everyone else. There is nowhere in the bible where it says you can and should only love your spouse and family. Agape or divine love is for all and is the expectation of God for mankind. Patience, kindness, tolerance,  gentleness,  forgiveness, self control,  generousity and selflessness which means considering others above your own needs is the demonstration of true love.  Jesus said 'greater love has no man than to lay his life down for another'.  So the Command to love one another is the foundation of our faith and belief system and is expected as standard by the lover of our souls. 

You must be wondering where I am going with this. You may even be asking the question so what makes the difference in the love in marraige?

Covenant! Love is the law of life and covenant is the responsibility,  expectation, commitment and the highest fulfilment of the Law of life. As a single person your love for everyone should be without question but as a married person you have made a lifelong commitment to give your body, soul and spirit to merge with another and to become one in purpose, vision and destiny in a manner not open to the rest of mankind. You have promised to be exclusive in the demonstration of that part of love manifestation that involves the sole access of your physical body to one person other than yourself and vice versa and have committed to work together with one person to fulfil Gods devine plan of fruitfulness, multiplication and dominion.  

It does not mean that you stop loving everyone else. It means you continue to love as is commanded but dedicate your life to that one person in covenant. 

So what exactly is covenant?

Covenant is a mutual agreement between two parties concerning set expectations and responsibilities till death.  It cannot be broken till that period is over. In marraige the period ends at death. Covenant is not a contract. You cannot get out of it. Covenant is not broken even if one party refuses to fulfil their side of the promise.  Covenant is not about the other person in the promise it is about you. You are bound by your promise. It does not matter if you were tricked into it. 

Remember the story in the bible in Joshua chapter 9, where the Gibeonites used deceit to make a covenant with Joshua? Even when he discovered later their true identities he could not annul the covenant even though God had commanded them not to make covenants with any of the tribes living around them. Joshua was bound by the covenant and God expected the children of Israel to keep it for generations to come.  Fast forward hundreds of years later and Israel had completely forgotten they made that covenant. The land was devastated with famine and barrenness was plaguing the women. David decided to inquire of God to find our why they were being punished like that.  God told them they had broken their promise to the Gibeonites and were maltreating their covenant partners. He adviced them to restore their commitment and responsibilities and he would restore  their land. David called the Gibeonites and apologised to them and fulfilled the reponsibility of the covenant and the land was restored. 

Yes even God does not revoke a covenant. No matter how long it has stood for The covenant responsibilities must be fulfilled. 

Many people may not agree with me here and yes there are many reasons why people choose to divorce thinking they are breaking the marraige covenant but, according to Malachi 3. God only sees the wife of your youth as your one life partner.

You can sign a certificate of divorce and remarry with as many blended families as you want.  Your covenant still stands. This is a scary thought and has lead some not to go ahead with the wedding  plans when they realised they may not be ready for the long haul with that particular person they were willing to marry at that time.

Marriage is serious business and the covenant is petty high on God's agenda. 

Like the land of Israel, your health, wealth and purpose can suffer famine and barrenness when you choose to ignore your covenact responsibilities. You become the enemy of your own progress. 

The wedding ring is the symbol of your covenant and helps you and others around you to be constantly aware of your responsibilities and commitments. 

In a world now were that symbol though prominent is regarded as nothing, it is up to you to daily remind yourself of your covenant promise. If you are yet to marry be, careful of your vows and who you make them with. They cannot be broken till death, divorce or no divorce.

If you are married and are struggling with your covenant responsibility, take a 2=1 course and watch your marraige blossom into its God given potential. 

If you are estranged, pray and prepare to reconcile. Recently a friend of mine remarried  her estranged husband of 15 years. She said to me that he was deceived but has found his way back home. They are happier than ever.

It is written 'and God blessed them and said to them be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the territories of the land, air and waters"

That is the purpose of the Marraige Covenant. Did you notice it was to 'Them' that the blessing was made not to the one but to the two of them?

As an unmarried person your area of responsibility and dominion is a garden but as a married couple it is the whole universe. Air, land and sea.

Why then you may ask are men commanded to love their wives? Because the one who created man understands what is in man. Marraige is more than sex and housekeeping. It is for purpose. This cannot be fulfilled without Agape. You see the closest person to you is your spouse. Your wife has the responsibility to dig out the trash and encourage you towards destiny.  The first thing a man will do when hurt is to withdraw his love or find solace elsewhere. So the Command is a reminder to stay the course.  Love until Christ is made perfect in you. Allow the manifestation of the fruits of the spirit to develop and mature in the demonstration of your love for your wife. Experience christed love. God wanted man to feel how he feels about his bride the church. It's a privilege to love like God. It's a privilege to submit like the church.  Together a couple can and will experience the trinity in due course. Together with the Holy Spirit they can grow into the fullness oF love as shared in the trinity.  Love, agreement, purpose and fulfilment.

So what about all those who are married and were formally divorced? I hear you? God is a God of new biginnings. The bible tells us that we should stay in the place we are after we get saved. I believe this means that if you are getting this revelation now it is your point of salvation and you cannot go back. The same way if a murderer repented he cannot go back and give life to his victim, So you may not be in the position to reconcile with your former spouse because of your present commitments.
It's more about repenting and ensuring whatever new covenant relationship you are in you know now is till death.
Do not abandon your responsibilities and let your new spouse and you commit to help the abandoned spouse. This is my own opinion and advice. Many new blended families ignore the plight of their ex spouses and the children of that covenant and bring curses on their new marraige.
God is a God of Covenant. So far as it remains with you live at peace with all men.
Enjoy the grace and love of God and accept his forgiveness and healing of your new marraige.