Love and all the 'other' stuff

By: Peter Unachukwu

I heard of a preacher who once said that the reason he was divorcing his wife was because he does not Love her.

I really really struggled with this when I first heard it a number of years ago - especially having it come from a preacher. 

Like most people my immediate response to the statement was. "Okay you don't Love your wife. But why can't you (as a preacher) believe God to give you Love for her".

As I said I really struggled with it. But later I understood what the real issue was.

I don't think anyone who truly believes in God - a believing Christian or a preacher does not believe that God cannot give them a Love for their wife or their husband. You see, it is not Love that is the issue but the other stuff.

What other Stuff?
I believe deep inside when one is in a place of conflict or in a strained or broken relationship; asking God for more Love actually means asking for more accountability; more opening oneself to be hurt again; to be disappointed again; more submission; more patience; more compromise; more giving of one's heart; more giving of one's time; more vulnerability;  more forgiveness; and more acceptance of one's spouse in-spite of their many faults and weaknesses.

We all know how we feel when we are deeply hurt by someone we love. At that particular time we want to run a mile away from them. At that time there is nothing they can do or say that will change the situation. There is such a pain and hurt in our heart. Sadly, even though it is so painful yet sometimes we don't even want it immediately removed not to talk less of being consoled or comforted (I think women can related this better than men).

So much so at that time even if the Angel Gabriel or Michael paid us a visit from heaven and offered to pacify us - some of us will probably say no to them and send them on their way.

During conflict, believing God for more Love is easy but believing God for the other stuff is pretty hard - no matter who you are.

Today, My wife and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary. And the one thing I am truly most grateful for is that I still have the desire to ask God to give me more Love for my wife. I believe this is a grace most couples take for granted. And it is something worth celebrating and being thankful for.

As we know as long as we have the desire to ask for more Love, we know there is always a chance it will be given to us.

And I also know there are those who are going through big strain or conflict in their relationship and find it really difficult  - to ask God for more Love for their wife or husband - because of all the thoughts it conveys and all the other stuff involved.

I leave us this verse from the bible from Roman 5:5 - "And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his Love."

I believe the Love God gives us is able to fill our hearts so much that our Love as couples is able to stand the test of time and help us overcome every single challenge and difficulty in our relationships.

Please don't be afraid to ask God for more Love for your wife or your husband. 

God is faithful. He will not only answer your request and give you more Love but He will also help you and give you the grace to deal with all the other stuff as well.

God bless.