The Covenant

'Till death do us part' seems a pretty scary promise to make. Some don't even bother with all that anymore. They think it more romantic to write their own vows which usually ends up as a little tribute to their soon to be spouse, with not much in terms of the till death do us part time frame in it. 

I was invited to a couples' meeting the other day to pitch a couples course which my husband and I run under the 2=1 organisation. The leader of the course then proceeded to ask me a very important question. 

"What is th purpose of marraige?" he asked. Well I was not prepared for the hot seat of questions that followed my answer but I replied " the purpose of marraige is to fulfil purpose" I know right? Sounds like totology. I have always been told to never use the words from a question as answer to the question. Here I clearly have. The purpose is purpose not love I replied. 

I did not qualify my statement and observed a few raised eyebrows. We went on to have quite an animated discussion on other topics. 

However,  this one question kept ringing in my mind. I always like to leave a place knowing people have fully understood my point of view but I felt unsettled because there was no time to qualify my fleeting answer.  I have always intended to write on the topic of covenant so now I have this opportunity to qualify my answer  here on this blog.

Interestingly the host for the day commented that he was not fully convinced by my reply as he thought that the purpose of marraige was to love your spouse and children. 

It got me thinking you know. I knew it was for fulfilling purpose and I knew that the mistake of thinking that marraige is just about loving your spouse and family is often made. 

You see the fundamental law of the universe is Love. Love for God and love for everyone else. There is nowhere in the bible where it says you can and should only love your spouse and family. Agape or divine love is for all and is the expectation of God for mankind. Patience, kindness, tolerance,  gentleness,  forgiveness, self control,  generousity and selflessness which means considering others above your own needs is the demonstration of true love.  Jesus said 'greater love has no man than to lay his life down for another'.  So the Command to love one another is the foundation of our faith and belief system and is expected as standard by the lover of our souls. 

You must be wondering where I am going with this. You may even be asking the question so what makes the difference in the love in marraige?

Covenant! Love is the law of life and covenant is the responsibility,  expectation, commitment and the highest fulfilment of the Law of life. As a single person your love for everyone should be without question but as a married person you have made a lifelong commitment to give your body, soul and spirit to merge with another and to become one in purpose, vision and destiny in a manner not open to the rest of mankind. You have promised to be exclusive in the demonstration of that part of love manifestation that involves the sole access of your physical body to one person other than yourself and vice versa and have committed to work together with one person to fulfil Gods devine plan of fruitfulness, multiplication and dominion.  

It does not mean that you stop loving everyone else. It means you continue to love as is commanded but dedicate your life to that one person in covenant. 

So what exactly is covenant?

Covenant is a mutual agreement between two parties concerning set expectations and responsibilities till death.  It cannot be broken till that period is over. In marraige the period ends at death. Covenant is not a contract. You cannot get out of it. Covenant is not broken even if one party refuses to fulfil their side of the promise.  Covenant is not about the other person in the promise it is about you. You are bound by your promise. It does not matter if you were tricked into it. 

Remember the story in the bible in Joshua chapter 9, where the Gibeonites used deceit to make a covenant with Joshua? Even when he discovered later their true identities he could not annul the covenant even though God had commanded them not to make covenants with any of the tribes living around them. Joshua was bound by the covenant and God expected the children of Israel to keep it for generations to come.  Fast forward hundreds of years later and Israel had completely forgotten they made that covenant. The land was devastated with famine and barrenness was plaguing the women. David decided to inquire of God to find our why they were being punished like that.  God told them they had broken their promise to the Gibeonites and were maltreating their covenant partners. He adviced them to restore their commitment and responsibilities and he would restore  their land. David called the Gibeonites and apologised to them and fulfilled the reponsibility of the covenant and the land was restored. 

Yes even God does not revoke a covenant. No matter how long it has stood for The covenant responsibilities must be fulfilled. 

Many people may not agree with me here and yes there are many reasons why people choose to divorce thinking they are breaking the marraige covenant but, according to Malachi 3. God only sees the wife of your youth as your one life partner.

You can sign a certificate of divorce and remarry with as many blended families as you want.  Your covenant still stands. This is a scary thought and has lead some not to go ahead with the wedding  plans when they realised they may not be ready for the long haul with that particular person they were willing to marry at that time.

Marriage is serious business and the covenant is petty high on God's agenda. 

Like the land of Israel, your health, wealth and purpose can suffer famine and barrenness when you choose to ignore your covenact responsibilities. You become the enemy of your own progress. 

The wedding ring is the symbol of your covenant and helps you and others around you to be constantly aware of your responsibilities and commitments. 

In a world now were that symbol though prominent is regarded as nothing, it is up to you to daily remind yourself of your covenant promise. If you are yet to marry be, careful of your vows and who you make them with. They cannot be broken till death, divorce or no divorce.

If you are married and are struggling with your covenant responsibility, take a 2=1 course and watch your marraige blossom into its God given potential. 

If you are estranged, pray and prepare to reconcile. Recently a friend of mine remarried  her estranged husband of 15 years. She said to me that he was deceived but has found his way back home. They are happier than ever.

It is written 'and God blessed them and said to them be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the territories of the land, air and waters"

That is the purpose of the Marraige Covenant. Did you notice it was to 'Them' that the blessing was made not to the one but to the two of them?

As an unmarried person your area of responsibility and dominion is a garden but as a married couple it is the whole universe. Air, land and sea.

Why then you may ask are men commanded to love their wives? Because the one who created man understands what is in man. Marraige is more than sex and housekeeping. It is for purpose. This cannot be fulfilled without Agape. You see the closest person to you is your spouse. Your wife has the responsibility to dig out the trash and encourage you towards destiny.  The first thing a man will do when hurt is to withdraw his love or find solace elsewhere. So the Command is a reminder to stay the course.  Love until Christ is made perfect in you. Allow the manifestation of the fruits of the spirit to develop and mature in the demonstration of your love for your wife. Experience christed love. God wanted man to feel how he feels about his bride the church. It's a privilege to love like God. It's a privilege to submit like the church.  Together a couple can and will experience the trinity in due course. Together with the Holy Spirit they can grow into the fullness oF love as shared in the trinity.  Love, agreement, purpose and fulfilment.

So what about all those who are married and were formally divorced? I hear you? God is a God of new biginnings. The bible tells us that we should stay in the place we are after we get saved. I believe this means that if you are getting this revelation now it is your point of salvation and you cannot go back. The same way if a murderer repented he cannot go back and give life to his victim, So you may not be in the position to reconcile with your former spouse because of your present commitments.
It's more about repenting and ensuring whatever new covenant relationship you are in you know now is till death.
Do not abandon your responsibilities and let your new spouse and you commit to help the abandoned spouse. This is my own opinion and advice. Many new blended families ignore the plight of their ex spouses and the children of that covenant and bring curses on their new marraige.
God is a God of Covenant. So far as it remains with you live at peace with all men.
Enjoy the grace and love of God and accept his forgiveness and healing of your new marraige.